Lead by the Leader Who Leads Me to Lead

Just an update to those who might be wondering – “Was this just another leap of hope off a cliff of effort lacking?”  I did jump.  I was free-falling for about two months and finally found my wings at month three.  I added about 20K (after editing) to my working novel and about another 10K total across three other active projects.  At month four I faced a moral dilemma in my cloud-puffed dream land.  Having returned home, living in semi-retired bliss with my wife, I felt called back to leadership with the youth program I had left more than two years prior.  Called I was, for I was hired back in the beginning of month six and now find myself working four – tens, and attempt to stretch what days I have off between family, home chores, and scribbling occasional notes in my notebook for the “later more.”

Perhaps my cliff diving experience will not inspire other aspiring writers.  Perhaps, like Disney, if the birds don’t keep flitting and the sun doesn’t keep shining while melodic tunes play and dancing goes on forever – then you feel as if the dive was a failure.  So to those that are Disney-tized, Corvus_ruficollisI bid you adieu and wish you well.  To realists, clothed in sackcloth but clinging to your capes nonetheless, I share the following.

I haven’t hit the ground.  The forced scheduling has pelted my spirits with frustration and anger surrounding my writing goals;  I concede to the pangs of discouragement on a regular basis.  Still the raven that cries “Nevermore,” bolsters my resolve to prove the wicked little wit wrong.  I’m not soaring anymore, but I still glide, and sometimes I manage to flap incessantly.  I didn’t want to return to my previous life, didn’t want to have to be “in charge” of anything again.  But the same One that nudged me off the cliff and gave me wings the first time – still stirs my muse, drafts my days, and knows the numbers of the hair on my head.  My times are in the Creator’s hands.  I already sense a deeper maturity in my word formations, in my structure, and in my ideas when I write them.  The 2018 date remains.  I can’t even see the bottom yet.  Realists rock.

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